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Wednesday

Craigslist Musician Postings

Getting A Band Together? It's Simple!

cartoon by Mike Keefe @ intoon.com

The San Diego Reader just posted their Top 50 Weirdest Musician Posts. Below are my favorites...

“Heavy singer looking for heavy band to make heavy music.”

“Tired of playing with yourself? Let me help.”

“Metal guitarist looking to form or join group…not into Cookie Monster sounding vocals.”

“Death metal tuba…looking to increase my tuba resume experience.”

“Seeking U2Heads to portray U2's Boy/October era in sight and sound…seeking a Bono, Adam, and Larry. The Edge portrayer position is taken. Wigs, attire, and equipment, similar to what U2 looked like and used at that time are mandatory, no exceptions…This band is to portray the very early years of U2 when they played small venues and pubs, which is where we will play too.”


“Looking for some people to jam with. I'm not looking for the best…Must be willing to piss off neighbors, must like to drink beer!”

“Our shows include circus acts, vaudeville, black light, aerialist, sideshows… If you can play and have a circus skill, even better. If not we can teach you one.”

“I am a female musician (27 years old) with 20-plus years of professional gigging experience…with no money and no car. Can you drive me to gigs and record my songs?”

“I need two female vocalists or cheer leaders. The part is a small cheer on a hip-hop track. The vocalists need to be able to cheer the word: K-N-O-L-E-G-E…you will be compensated $10 for your time.”

“I look just like James Hetfield from Metallica…I have sang in bands and we did a Metallica cover and it went over pretty well. I think there is some good money to be made doing this.”

“Female background singer wanted…you don’t need to be super thin, but we want someone without a weight problem.”

“Drummer available…must be punk. I not very good yet.”

“Band plays for beer…or [for] $50 but you better twist us some doobage.”

“I'm a writer, singer, sex machiner…I am a spiritual soldier singing melodic, fist-pounding messages from a pulpit in the sky…It's scary what we're putting together.”


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