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Tuesday

Who Really Reads Stratoblogster - #8 T.W.

parody

"My entire life has been devoted to Golf A$$ Success-- later de-euphemizing simply into Girl Acquisition Syndrome. But now in rehab, and with severely filtered internet access I think I may have discovered my true G.A.S. at Stratoblogster!

Guitar Gear Acquisition Syndrome is the G.A.S. that makes sense for me at this point. I've secretly always wanted to play guitar anyway, and knew that my natural golf talent would eventually earn me enough to start off on the right foot with the serious boutique gear.

In spite of recent events in my life, when things settle down I'm still gonna have more than enough money to buy the Anaheim Convention Center on NAMM week. Fact, that's probably what I'll do next January, just to have the last laugh. Then I'll hire Steve Vai & Joe Satriani for guitar lessons and Allan Holdsworth to tune my guitars and make beer. Hangin' out with John Mayer for bootycall-- Naaaah! That was a joke! I was kiddin'! That's all behind me now.

Yeah, it's gonna be sweet! And I have the Stratoblogster Guitar Blog to thank for helping me get through everything and find my new path in life! GUITARS! LOTS OF GUITARS AND GUITAR PROCUREMENT! AS MANY AS I WANT! WHENEVER I WANT 'EM TOO!

HAHAAAAAAA!!! I CAN'T WAIT!

Henry & I are already talking about the DUSK TIGER WOODS. Check out the totally bitchin' control plate/pickguard idea I came up with during my therapy. The Doc says it shows that I'm improving because sex is shifting into artistic thought. Doc knows best!










DUSK TIGER WOODS PICKGUARD/CONTROL PLATE


See ya at NAMM! My NAMM!"



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