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Ultimate Relic Vintage Blonde Strat - John Cruz

Fender Custom Shop

Click images for close-ups!

Mary Kaye Crack Whore?

Wouldn't it totally suck if new Custom Shop Relics also included fret wear! Cuz if they did, this guitar would definitely need a refret.

I mean, imagine if it were really like that just so everything would fit the theme-- and complete artistic reproduction took priority over function. And look at those pickups-- what if they didn't work because they were corroded to death in the Relic process. You're already spending big bucks, then if you also wanna actually play it ya gotta get a re-fret and working pickups right out of the box.

Kinda makes the new car undercoating & interior protection up-sell seem tame!

Well fortunately, it's not true. But otherwise, Masterbuilder John Cruz just got plumb medieval on this one! Looks like he pee'd in those pickups for a coupla weeks at least. Ok, I'll stop it.

Let's see... Oh yeah, this IS a NEW guitar, complete with new vintage tweed case and factory warranty. Maybe you can even purchase an extended warranty and undercoating. It's got a soft "V" 9.5" radius neck and custom 50's pickups. Body is select alder-- as opposed to non-select alder I guess.

When you own a guitar like this, you gotta have a story too. Ya can't just tell people:

"The Fender guitar company makes these nifty guitars they call Relics, which they try to replicate years and years of wear & tear, thankless gigs and the rough life of a veteran, career guitar player who has paid his dues, umm... who isn't me."

You especially don't wanna conclude that statement with a "Ya dern tootin'" a la William H. Macy in the movie FARGO.

Instead, you address any questions or comments about the Strat with more of a Sam Elliott approach, i.e. a long pause, followed by, "Just got it out of hock after meth rehab. Been divorced 5 times but the Strat is in under my skin... Have you ever had a gamma globulin shot?"

That'll be a real ice breaker.

Anyway, did I mention this new guitar is for sale?

Seller: The Music Zoo eBay Store

Current Item ID# 370336574244


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