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GAS or Parenthood? Feasibility Comparison Analysis

Guitar Gear Acquisition Syndrome commentary

7.2 Lbs...
Feb. 8, 2010
The typical Strat and human newborn weighs in at a little over 7 lbs. From that point let's take a look and compare the long term upkeep & expenses.

Guitar needs string changes. Baby needs diaper changes and food. Both need to be held. The guitar always will need to be held. Baby will become a toddler and need shoes. Strat will never walk but may need pedals which you'll need to step on.

Child needs a bicycle and eventually more costly transpo. Strat needs amps and more pedals.

Child needs clothing and schooling. Strat needs a strap, a case... and you're in charge of developing your playing abilities.

Insurance? For the child, definitely! As for the Strat, it depends upon the vintage, your initial investment and how much you worry about this sort of stuff.

Siblings? Nobody wants to be an only child. Likewise, you can't have too many guitars. This is where things get exponential , and you're either headed towards "Critical GAS" or Walton's Mountain. If it's a few kids we're talking about, it's getting easier to see that a case of GAS might not be so bad after all. Unless that is, you're also a parent.

College? Here's really where GAS is the desirable situation, although you could go to guitar school which doesn't guarantee a return on your investment. A guitar school diploma doesn't come with a posh office or a tour with Metallica. On the other hand, if your kid(s) become doctors, lawyers or pro athletes-- and you weren't a jerk parent to them, you might look forward to some easy golden years with grandkids to spoil, as opposed to a social security cat food diet and having to sell your gear to pay for dentures and cataract surgery.

So all things considered, it's probably wise to raise a kid or two, and maintain a sensible gear inventory.

Just don't let your babies grow up to be musicians, and try to die with your boots on (the boots part just sounds cool!).

It all starts at 7.2 lbs.

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